Keep Me focused...

on you Jesus!

Today was one of those days where I was just plain tired. I know when I am tired my mind seems to wonder. I think about so many different things and then it turns negative.

We had another Riley appointment for Amaya today so we got up early. I didn't get to bed until about midnight and then Mak got up around 6 and then didn't go back to sleep like he normally does. Didn't really matter because I knew we were going to be driving soon. Anyway, I got back and almost fell asleep while feeding him. I knew I should take a nap but had 5 loads of laundry to do and dishes and a messy house. If it had just been the dishes and messy house I would have said forget it. Couldn't do that b/c you see we are leaving for Shipshewana tomorrow as soon as Chad gets off work.

Chad has a new job!

Finally...Chad has a new job. After months of praying and frustrations on my part, he finally has a job. I have to admit that I believed a door would open but my hope was getting thin.

He was called last week to talk with a company he had interviewed with in Dec. That job that he interviewed for at that time was phased out of the company because of budget issues. They told him at that time that he was their #1 candidate and that they would call him if something else came up. It came up and his first day was today. PRAISE GOD!!

When he went to talk with them on Wednesday, they asked him how much he would like (money-wise) and he gave them a range and then came home and told me all about it. =) A few hours later they offered him the job. They salary they offered him was +$5,000 what he had asked for.

What an awesome blessing!! For a while now it's been a struggle financially. When Chad told me about our budget, I got worried because we were short several hundred dollars. I say this because in all the months that we should have fallen short, we never did. God faithfully provided as His word says. We have been faithful in our tithes and offerings. On top of that, we also started giving to our church building fund. (Totally Chad's doing on that part. I definitely did not have the faith for that.) I often have a difficult time when it comes to finances. I worry when I shouldn't! God has always taken care of us....ALWAYS!! We've had two prophetic words given to us about God's favor being on us! That is truly the case with us!!

On Saturday, Chad was mowing and he found lots and lots of mushrooms on the edge of our property...just another way that God's favor is on us. =) It's a little funny to think of finding mushrooms as God's favor but it was a great ending to an already great week.

Days that end in Y - #2

So I said it was to be continued...here is more.

While I'm so thankful for God's grace in my asking, I want to be more trusting. I want to trust Him and never doubt. I want to be so in tune with Him and always know without any doubt that He is going to take care of us.

I have a difficult time looking at Him without thinking I have to do something.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith
---and this not from yourselves---
it is from God.
Ephesians 2:8

There have been so many times, I beat myself up about what I haven't done, what I'm supposed to be doing. In whom do I put my trust? God asked me simply to believe Him. So many times I'm trying to please man because it makes me look better. Jesus help me please you and you alone in ALL things!

So this weekend, Rod Aguillard gave my husband and I word from the Lord. He said the Lord's FAVOR is surrounding us.

Days that end in Y

A song by Jeff and Sheri Easter is the inspiration for this blog posting.

So many times over the last months, I've asked God why.
Why has Chad not found a job?
Why are we going to Riley for Amaya?
Why is Amaya's bump (boo boo) on her neck not going away?
Why am I going through these things?

Why Why WHY?

I've often felt guilty for asking why. I thought asking why meant that I didn't really trust God. I thought it made me a bad person - less of a Christian. It's been a battle that I've had a hard time talking about. I am not used to opening up about these things. I have this problem with appearing weak. I often think I shouldn't be feeling this anymore. I should be this way or that...problem is I don't so it's this crazy cycle of negative feelings...condemnation....mistrust. Some of this turned to bitterness because I didn't deal with it.

All along, if I would have just asked God to show me what to do, He would have taken me to Job. This past week, I read a friend's blog and he mentioned a scripture in Job. So I finally went to Job, to the book that is all about loss and a testing. I wanted to see how Job responded to God.

To my surprise, he asked God why all the time in the first 13 chapters that I read. Then yesterday we had a leaders meeting at Church and the speaker, Rod Aguillard, spoke on this subject...one thing he said that really spoke to me.
You can ask God why, just don't charge Him....basically don't blame Him

Wow, how freeing that is. Thank you Jesus for your grace!

Aren't you glad that He waits patiently? I am so glad that He didn't give up on me. He truly loves me so much and He is always waiting with His arms open wide.

To be continued...