How do we keep our marriage strong?

by doing this......wooooohooooo!

Me on Marriage #3

This is the last post in my marriage series...I've really enjoyed doing this. I love when God gives me inspiration for my blog. =) Leave me a comment...let me know your thoughts on my posts...I'd love to hear from you.  Let me know how I can pray for you.

After all those things I explained in the last marriage post, Ephesians tells us to:

WALK IN UNITY

USE SPIRITUAL GIFTS

BE A NEW MAN/WOMAN

NOT GRIEVE THE HOLY SPIRIT

WALK IN LOVE

WALK IN LIGHT

WALK IN WISDOM

Paul actually talks about all these things (the above and the stuff from the previous post) BEFORE he talks about marriage in Ephesians.
I believe there is such significance in this.  If we hold fast to what God has asked of us, our building will have NO choice but to be strong and storm worthy! Just look at the last three...walk in love, walk in light and walk in wisdom.  How often do we forget these in order to be "right" in our marriage? Maybe if we forgot about being "right" in exchange for being "love," we would see different results. (Whew....God help me be reminded to walk in love through each discussion and/or argument)

AFTER Paul talks about marriage, he then gives us some great tools: the ARMOR OF GOD!!

This is how I put on the armor of God:

I put on the belt of truth.
I put up the breastplate of righteousness (to protect my heart)
I fit my feet with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace
I put up the shield of faith with which to withstand all the fiery darts of the enemy
I put on the helmet of salvation to protect my mind
I put up the sword of the spirit which is able to divide between soul and spirit.
for some added 'protection' I add these:
I put on the robe of righteousness for His name's sake
I put on the garments of praise for the spirit of heaviness
I thank you Lord that Your glory is my rear guard

The following is something I've confessed and prayed over our marriage and the marriages of my friends around me...God is at work! 

PSALM 133

Behold how good it is for brethren (Chad & Elaine) to dwell together in unity!

It is like the precious oil upon the head,

Running down the beard, the beard of Aaron,

Running down on the edge of his garments.

It is like the dew of Hermon, 

Descending upon the mountains of Zion;

For there the Lord commanded the blessing:

LIFE FOREVERMORE.


I encourage you this way: 
...if your marriage is great and strong ....continue giving glory to God and speaking the word over your marriage..and above all else be obedient to Him.

...if your marriage is struggling...continue giving glory to God and speaking the word over your marriage..and above all else be obedient to Him.

...if your marriage is broken...continue giving glory to God and speaking the word over your marriage..and above all else be obedient to Him. 

Love to all and thanks for reading!! 

Me on Marriage #2

I was really having a hard time deciding what to write on this blog.  For some reason every time I sat down to write I had this huge block.  So then I remembered ummmm...the reason I was doing this was b/c God gave me something I wrote in my journal..so me being super smart, I went back and read it and you know what...it was all there.  Everything that I wanted to write, I had already written.  LOL...sometimes I just need to stop and take a breath and realize God's in control. 

 The beautiful bride and her dad walking down to meet her man: Jessica & Bobby's Wedding

"It takes two to make a thing go right...it takes two to make it outta sight" 

Going back to what I was talking about for our vows.  I believe that just as God spoke, "let there be light and light was," when we speak our vows it simply is. The hard part to that is this thing called LIFE.  After we speak our vows, how we choose to deal with life is how our building looks.

For example if I as a wife choose to neglect submission (i.e. respect, acknowledge his leadership, listen to him, praise him), I am building something with holes and something that will begin to crumble with time. If Chad fails to love me (no matter if the dishes are undone, dinner uncooked, laundry piled high), he is building something with holes that will crack over time.  What the Bible says he must do: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." (Ephesians 5:25)

The key is to create a sure foundation and to follow biblical example. We not only look at the specific scriptures on marriage but on the ones preceding those marriage scriptures...AND we look at the scriptures describing Christ's instructions for the church b/c that is how He likens a marriage.

If you look at how the book of Ephesians is set up, Paul starts off describing our redemption, he then goes on with a prayer for our spiritual wisdom, next he reminds us of God's grace through faith...(are you starting to see what I'm talking about?) Next Paul tells us we were brought near to him by his blood...then he says Christ is our peace....OUR CORNERSTONE....THE MYSTERY REVEALED.

Paul then shows us the purpose of the mystery and how to have an appreciation for the mystery of Christ.
Before I begin my next part, I feel I must explain the above with a diagram...the way the I put the "blocks" is just how I see the Bible describing them...(I'm not a Bible scholar...just a lover of Jesus). =) I also did not finish the building because that is different for each marriage.

When we first are saved we start to see these things for ourselves: Christ's redemption for us, grace through faith, wisdom, and how we are brought near by Christ's blood.  All of that doesn't change when we get married...BUT as a married couple....you have to build something together and it starts with your experiences as a married couple. You may have a "sure foundation" for yourself but what are you building together?

So in the last blog I finished with a story of Chad and I having an argument.  We do really still love each other. =)  It made me go back a while though and I realized that I needed to forgive him of hurting my feelings over 3 years ago...geesh.

Me on Marriage #1

Just a pic from the most recent wedding I attended (last Saturday):

Why I want to post this:  For the past couple years I have seen marriages that I thought could withstand (or were withstanding) anything....fall apart.  I've seen couples divorced who I personally was friends with, people who I ministered to and in some ways it seemed like an "out of the blue" decision. I'm sure it was not a quick decision but it prompted me to write in my journal...at midnight one night. CRAZY I know but when the inspiration hits you gotta go with it.

One thing that really struck me is how these couples that I know have children who they put in the middle of their issues. Not only are the actions of the parents extremely detrimental to the children but to each other. I believe when a marriage happens a spiritual union happens also. In order to break that union you have to give a part of yourself away AND you tear a part of your children in the process.  I really believe it must be a three-fold cord (you, spouse, God) and it must be checked for breaks and frays at all times.
 
In the breaks that I have seen or heard about...it typically is one spouse blaming the other for everything.  That really gets to me.... I understand that a spouse can be terrible at times BUT in marriage no matter how you put it...it takes two.  (I am not talking about abuse in any form here).  I am talking about marriages that have simply fallen apart because one spouse simply quits and starts blaming.  I fully believe in order for a marriage to work there has to be a humility from both sides.  Humility must be present to recognize that neither is perfect and that always blaming will not build up.  Humility must be present to realize when to give up your own wants and desires for the good of the both. 

ALL marriages need to have both sides working FOR the marriage at all times.  If you think about the vows you spoke...for better or for worse...most people only stay true to the for better part. Have you thought about your marriage (if you're married) and what you will do in the for worse parts?  Have you thought about the words till death do us part?

Maybe it's really just being a man or woman of your word...maybe it's trusting God that He can bring good out of any situation...maybe it's taking the situation out of your own hands and trusting God to bring your spouse around...maybe it's letting go and letting God and being obedient to doing what He says to do.

What's really funny (or not really) is last night as I was starting to write this post, Chad and I had an argument. He said something about the kids that I took extremely personally.  He was simply making a suggestion and I took it as a negative against me....ok so we all know this probably did not turn out to be very romantic...'nuff said'.

...to be continued...

A Big Girl and A Big Boy

This post is about Amaya and Makiyah....

So I know the last post was all about Mak and it's made me realize how quickly he is growing again.
A few things that I didn't post that he does:

• say amin (for Amen) after we pray
•  he looked at me yesterday morning as I was feeding him breakfast (grits..yum!) and puts out his hands and says "all none" (for all done)...now that's so cute to me...we've been doing that for a looong time and all we've been rewarded with is "aghhhhhh"....whines and grunts when he wants something.
• He is started to recognize and say people's names.  

I'm sure again I'm missing a few things but I just can't believe how quickly time goes....love love love him.

Now on to Amaya:

She truly is my big girl.  In the past two weeks she has peed in her diaper 2 times and has been in underwear for nap time the past week.  I still put her in a pull-up at night but she always keeps it dry.  The not-so-good part of this all is that she now wakes up in the middle of the night to potty but actually it feels pretty good that she is able to do that.  She also has been climbing onto the toilet and doing her business then wiping and washing her hands all by herself.  The first time she did that was Saturday morning...even going #2 she has done a good job wiping...all I can say is wow!  If you don't have kids yet...one day you'll have this proud feeling of your kiddo wiping her own butt. =)

She is such a sweetie and although she has her 3 yr old moments, my heart is so full of love for her too. 

One thing she absolutely does not like: to be woken from a nap...she is in a terrible mood for a while then all of a sudden someone does something to make her laugh and it's over....totally a 3 yr old with no control over her emotions.  I find myself being more and more patient with her...but at times I am super impatient and then it's not good. 

On another note: Pastor Renee asked us to write our decrees for our life...I have to admit, I have not thought of what mine are for a while. I do believe I know what mine will be but I don't confess them every day.  One thing I have been praying more recently is that God would make me more humble.  I find that the more humble I am, the more I am able to do what God asks me to do.