Days that end in Y

A song by Jeff and Sheri Easter is the inspiration for this blog posting.

So many times over the last months, I've asked God why.
Why has Chad not found a job?
Why are we going to Riley for Amaya?
Why is Amaya's bump (boo boo) on her neck not going away?
Why am I going through these things?

Why Why WHY?

I've often felt guilty for asking why. I thought asking why meant that I didn't really trust God. I thought it made me a bad person - less of a Christian. It's been a battle that I've had a hard time talking about. I am not used to opening up about these things. I have this problem with appearing weak. I often think I shouldn't be feeling this anymore. I should be this way or that...problem is I don't so it's this crazy cycle of negative feelings...condemnation....mistrust. Some of this turned to bitterness because I didn't deal with it.

All along, if I would have just asked God to show me what to do, He would have taken me to Job. This past week, I read a friend's blog and he mentioned a scripture in Job. So I finally went to Job, to the book that is all about loss and a testing. I wanted to see how Job responded to God.

To my surprise, he asked God why all the time in the first 13 chapters that I read. Then yesterday we had a leaders meeting at Church and the speaker, Rod Aguillard, spoke on this subject...one thing he said that really spoke to me.
You can ask God why, just don't charge Him....basically don't blame Him

Wow, how freeing that is. Thank you Jesus for your grace!

Aren't you glad that He waits patiently? I am so glad that He didn't give up on me. He truly loves me so much and He is always waiting with His arms open wide.

To be continued...