Tuesday, November 3, 2009

In Response to Seasons of Friendship

My good friend Samaria recently did a blog post: Seasons of Friendship.  As I was commenting on her blog post I realized that I should just do a response to her blog post.  I had a lot that I wanted to say in her comments section (almost more than what she had written). LOL

Here is what I wrote in response to her blog post:
So first, I had this whole paragraph written and my computer shut down. So frustrating cause I put a lot of thought into it. =) Anyway, I agree with you on your evaluation of friendships. At this point in life, you want friendships that will stick. It's easier to believe in the good of the other person because you think they are more mature. Sometimes this is true and sometimes this is not. I think of our friendship and I know that we've survived some rough times. I'm thankful that we've rekindled the fire of our relationship (even if just more recently). Life brings so many changes: dating, marriage, children and in the midst of all that, you face life's issues - some that are extremely hard. A true friend will ebb and flow with you through those times. A true friend will give and respect the space needed. A true friend will be there to embrace you when the time is right. Friendship is definitely not cookie cutter. (Ok ok...I'm thinking I should blog a response to this so that I don't write more than you...haha) I have so many thoughts on this. GREAT BLOG POST!  

When I read Samaria's post, I was reminded how at the beginning of the year, I was praying a lot for friendships that "stuck." Friends that I could trust no matter what I was going through.  There are times in life that we need alone time. There are times I need friends more than ever. There are also times I need friends to give me space.  Sometimes I need a friend when my kids are "acting up".   Sometimes I need a friend to give me space when my kids are acting up.  Sometimes I need a friend to sit with me and just talk about nothing and not expect anything in return after I have a baby. Sometimes I need a friend to stay home and give me the space needed right after I have a baby.  Like I said in response to Samaria's post: "friendship is not cookie cutter," there is no formula.

As I'm writing this, I am realizing how much I need friends to give love and respect my need for space.  I have this God given desire to sometimes be alone at times, to sometimes be with one other person and to sometimes be with a whole group of people. Like I wrote earlier, at this point in life, I need friends that understand and respect this and in spite of their agreement or disagreement with that statement, can still love me.   One thing I have learned from friends is that I cannot depend on them for my happiness.  That has to come from God alone. God alone is what can give me that eternal joy...not matter what happens in my friendships.   

Proverbs has many great verses about friendships.  A few that really stick with me:

Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." 

Proverbs 27: 5-6
"Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend."

As I read the second one, I think about how a faithful friend will "rebuke" when needed and will be there to help you pick up the pieces.  There are so many good verses about friends and God knew we would need His word to lean on through life! Thank goodness for His word that never changes!

2 comments:

mrs. warsaw said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Coco said...

I have to partly disagree with you guys. I think in the end you realize people are totally different than you and you just move on to make friends with others who better suit who you are. For example, no matter how much i try to hang out with a person, I change the fact that I might not be what they want to be around with. So in my response i move on without holding a grudge and find others who would like to be with me as a friend. I think the relationship thing is tricky because its hard to find people you trust and will stay by you during life changes. I am glad i can finally walk away and think I did everything i could to maintain this relationship. And sometimes its not worth it anymore. You be respectful and move on. that's my experience. I have alot of experience in this area.